Steph's Story and the Origins of Fiercely OK
I have a quick story to share…
It is a story about stories and the power of narrative.
When I was in grade twelve, my narrative was: “I am anxious… There is something wrong with me. I must stop this. It is not healthy to feel anxious.” I tried to will the pain in my chest and the sweaty palms away, but the harder I tried, the worse they became… The anxiety would stay with me for weeks on end, interfering with my ability to focus, until finally I would break down and cry. Somehow, in admitting my discomfort and fear, I remembered that it is human and OK to be scared. The anxiety never stayed away for long. Just thinking about the anxiety’s possible return was enough for it to rear its scary head. Ever heard of relaxation-induced panic? It’s a real thing. One moment of worrying about worrying would lead to two weeks of inexplicable blood rushing and heart pounding.
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At the Heart of My Anxiety: A Fear of Breathing
Are there any of you out there with a lived experience of “anxiety”? Today, I gained some insight into the nature of my little anxiety friend. It feels important to share it with you.
Over the past few days, I have been feeling a consistent pain in my heart. Sometimes, I refer to this pain as anxiety. More recently, I have learned to say “my nervous system is really active right now.” For the sake of this post, I will call the pain in my heart what it is: pain.
The pain in my heart is a familiar feeling to me at this point in my life - it has been showing up on and off since I was 17 years old. I am now 28. The reasons for the pain’s appearance are different every time and sometimes difficult to identify. It becomes disruptive when it lingers and begins to consume my attention.
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